


When You Don't Know What to Say, Use a Baby Animal to Break the Tension

by amsch



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 17:53:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4886158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amsch/pseuds/amsch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>modern au/post-strike: Jack and Crutchie try to have THE TALK, but said baby animal and angsty feelings get in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Don't Know What to Say, Use a Baby Animal to Break the Tension

“Hey, Crutchie! Hey! Wait up!” Jack jogged up to Crutchie, slipping a little in the snow. He was a pink-cheeked, puffy-eyed mess: his hair was standing up like it hadn’t been washed in a while, coat buttoned wrong, and his droopy scarf was trailing behind him on the ground. He slid to a stop in front of where Crutchie had paused, his breath making clouds in the cold morning air.

“Hey.” Crutchie’s greeting was curt, a lot less enthusiastic than usual. He saw Jack wince noticeably when he close enough to take in the livid bruises still marking Crutchie’s face, a vivid reminder of the past few days. Shifting stiffly, not quite meeting Jack’s eyes, Crutchie instead looked at the wet, bedraggled scarf on the ground, resisting the urge to pick it up and wrap it around Jack's neck. Whether he wanted to strangle him or make sure he didn't catch a cold was a question he didn't feel like answering. Crutchie broke the awkward pause, not acknowledging the heaviness hanging between them. 

“Did you oversleep this morning or something? You look a little…you know.” He widened his eyes and gestured at Jack's generally disheveled appearance.

“Don’t worry! I’ve just been up all night thinking about stuff. There’s been so much going on, my brain is just- well, I haven’t actually slept at all the past few days.” 

Jack’s voice was too loud and jovial- he was clearly trying hard to act normally. Whatever _normal_ was between them. Crutchie took a large step backwards, feeling wary.

“What’s going on? Is this about….you’re acting weird. Too much caffeine and sugar, not enough sleep kind of weird.”

“Nonono I’m fine! Great! Are you okay? I mean- that’s a dumb question. Uh…I have something to show you. Thought you’d like it.” He rubbed his bare hands together, blew on them once, and reached inside his coat, rummaging around.

Crutchie tried to look uninterested and aloof. “What do you have in there, a baby or something?” 

Jack started laughing, a little hysterically, and brought out a tiny bundle of feathers, keeping it cradled in his hands.The closed-off look in Crutchie’s eyes vanished momentarily as he gasped. “Is that a bird?? It’s so tiny!”

Jack smiled proudly, feeling encouraged. “It is indeed, my friend. Found her last night, thought I’d try and give her another shot even though her mom left her. I was feeding her all night, trying to warm her up.”

Crutchie looked up at him and realized they were a lot closer together than he’d anticipated. Jack’s face was only inches away from his, and his worried, dark-circled eyes were looking back into Crutchie’s, asking another question that he didn’t want to answer. Didn’t know how to answer- not yet. 

He reached out a hand and cupped it over Jack’s, tentatively, as the bird let out a tiny peep and looked sleepily up at them. Jack’s hands were warm and dry, and Crutchie noticed drops of moisture in his hair and eyelashes.  _Shit. Those eyelashes_. He stared down at the bird, but Jack’s eyes were still drilling into him, begging for forgiveness, for Crutchie to know that he did this for him.

The silence stalled in the cold air, and a million questions ran through Crutchie’s mind as they stood there, hunched over the baby bird.  _How could you leave? Why wasn’t I enough?  Why didn’t you tell me before what I think you’re telling me now? How can I forgive you? How can I forgive **myself**  for not being enough?_

But he didn’t say any of them, letting the words roll around and around like icy marbles in his mouth.  Jack cleared his throat and stepped back, his face tight. 

“I think she’s getting cold. I should head inside.” He started to walk away, the sad, wet end of his scarf still pathetically trailing in the snow. Crutchie watched it drag through a puddle. And stood there. And tried to remember how to breathe, his broken ribs piercing him with pain as he tried to pull in air through the tightness in his lungs. The same questions flashed through his mind-  _whyhowwhy_ \- but this time, his tongue unfroze before the bitterness could claim it.

“Wait!” Crutchie called. Jack jerked to a stop, spinning around. The hope in his eyes was unbearable, and it sparked something within Crutchie’s chest, a small flame that had almost died out, sputtering to life again. “If you want…I can help you with the bird? We should get her some food. And we should probably get some breakfast too, you look like you could use a hot meal.” 

Jack bounded back over, almost slipping again, his long limbs suddenly full of energy, smiling hugely.  “Yes!! I mean, sure. I could go for some waffles.” Crutchie laughed, suddenly. It felt like the first time in years. They smiled hesitantly at each other as Jack tucked the baby bird back inside his pocket.

They started walking side by side down the street, the sounds of the city around them muffled by the snow. Crutchie was still thinking about Jack’s hands around the bird, his eyelashes, the confusion in his eyes and the unspoken words like flashbulbs in them now:  _I’m sorry. I was wrong. I hurt you_. Crutchie turned to face him. Something needed to be said, but again, Jack was already there looking at him, his face strained like he was in pain. He stopped walking, and reached out his hand, where it hovered for a second as their eyes locked. Suddenly, his hand was on Crutchie’s shoulder, sliding up his neck and into his hair, and he pulled him in, a little clumsiness betraying his nerves. Their bodies were pressed together now, heat trapped between them and Crutchie’s mind was racing: _I don’t understand, what do you want, what do I want, make a DECISION   - oh, fuck it._  And he closed the last few inches and they’re kissing, warm lips and cold teeth and Jack pulling his hat off and Crutchie’s hands finding his stupid scarf and pulling it closer, wrapping it around his wrist. The snow’s icy beneath them and the sun is breaking through, making everything too bright to look at except his dark eyelashes and pink cheeks.

He traced a finger along Jack’s jaw, making him break away and yelp. “Cold,” he gasped. There was another tiny sound from somewhere around Jack’s heart and Crutchie stepped back shakily. 

“We’re squishing the bird!” he whispered, and Jack peeked inside his coat to check. 

“Nope, she’s okay. Although I did forget about her for a second there, what with all the…wow. What was _that_? It was…” 

“I know.” Crutchie finished for him. They were both grinning, and Jack took his hand. “Now, let’s go get those waffles.”


End file.
